My partner left for work not long ago and left his hotmail open. As I went to close it down I noticed that their was a MSG from aussie match maker (dating service). I didn’t go into it cause it shocked me so much and I closed it down but it started to eat at me so I went onto the sight and look up details that would be close to his and he has a profile on it saying that he’s single and asking for a relationship etc. We have been together for 9 years. I thought everything in our relationship was perfect. We purchashed a house together talked about marriage, children and the furture. So please don’t say dump his *** cause theirs so much more to it than that. I really need some advice cause im at work and freaking out!
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9 comments to I Really Need Help!? |
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Maybe its old or maybe he is just talking to people on their, but I highly suggest two things.
1)Check to see if it shows the same sexual orientation he exhibits in your relationship
ex. if your in a heterosexual relationship it should say male interested in females or straight
if you are in a homosexual relationship it should say male seeking male or gay
2) If it is the opposite, maybe you need to discuss experimentation and bisexuality with him. If it is the same, sit him down and calmly tell him how you came accross this. Tell him you want to know more and you are not mad. IF if cooperates and tells you about, listen. But please do not stay with a man who is cheating on you, if he is.
you need to approach him about it. it will eat you up if you dont bring it to his attention right away.
let him know exactly how it happened. you are his partner and you have every right to the truth if you are investing yourself in the relationship.
my recommendation would be to say as little as possible. let him know the events that led up to you reading his email and let him explain to you about the messages and account.
be prepared for whatever the outcome is. maybe he is unhappy with an aspect of your relationship and this will give you the opportunity to work it out.
good luck
Don’t freak out just know that men like to know that they still have it especially after 9 years. Sit him down with out getting upset and present him with the information you have found. In person not on the phone I know you are at work. But hold off.
If you don’t get upset and cry or yell, he will be more likely to give you the answers you need. keep my posted. and remember you have a lot of history after 9 years you can get through this.
Honestly the absolute best advice I can give is talk to him about it. Chances are he will say how you were looking into his mail and etc., but 9 years? You have a right to know. Something that small shouldn’t be enough to ruin a huge relationship. So seriously, confront him.
Hope that helps :]
I would confront him… nicely…. don’t make him get his guard up so he is definsinve. He should respect the fact that you have the right to know what is going on; he should respect you enough to tell you if he wan’ts out not do it behind your back.
Confrontation, theres no easy way out of this, sure you could just ignore it but it would probably be quite the burden.
TALK TO HIM!!!!!
what he’s doing is bad!! if you don’t want to dump him then you better get on his ***.
i understand ur situation..and ur right nine years is a long time to just walk away… u need to talk to him about this.. ask him what u mean to him…ask him if he feels anything is missing in ur relationship and what would he do or want to make it better… u have to communicate seems there are things he hasnt been open about.. usually men do these things because there is something missing in the present relationship i am not saying ur not a good partner… but communication is lacking here.. u need to let him know how u feel about u and him and everything u have with him over these 9 yrs.. let him know what u found and how that hurts u and makes u wonder where u are standing in ur relationship at this point.. be honest about ur feelings.. ask him straight out questions.. any doubts … be open.. hopefully he has just done this out of boredom or to play around.. either way its not rite.. but some people do things like this to have fun.. see if u can work it out before thinking of leaving or such.. he has been good in all areas before this.. seems u two have been comfortable with each other all these years… let him explain why he did it.. a woman knows when their partners lie..if u are willing to stay with him after this.. place the cards on the table and let him know u will not tolorate disrespect.. one more thing try to find out how long ago did he open this account… see how honest he is.. i wish u both good luck.. maybe u can work something out…
Ask him. I have been with my girlfriend for four years. I also had an online ad with a dating website. I started it when I was with her, but only because I was curious as to wether or not other girls would like me.
I was afraid to tell my girlfriend because I thought she might get mad or upset, but I was just curious. In the end, she found out and asked me. I told her the truth: I was only curious. She didn’t care, and I closed my account.
People are naturally curious. You say you’ve been together for nine years? That is awesome! Good Job! With him, though, he isn’t neccessarily thinking about leaving you. Part of my reason, and probably his, for going on the date site was to see if I was still attractive. He may still love you, but he just wants to know if he is still attractive to others. It’s a guys way of being told by other girls that he’s still got the goods. It doesn’t me he doesn’t love you, he just wants to feel good about himself.
I hope for the best for you, and don’t worry too much. Just sit down, ask him, and see what he says. Ask him if any girls thought he was attractiv, then brag about how you “snatched up the good one.” It will make him feel better, help the situation along and let him know you still think he’s just as attractive as the day you met.
Godd Luck! And Congrats on the nine years!